The ABC's of Connecting with Parents

                              by Brenda Nixon

                       Children’s Ministry Magazine

March/April 2005

You minister to children. But how do you connect with their parents? Here are three simple ways:

Affirm parents. Parenting is the hardest job anyone will ever do and parents need to know their efforts are appreciated. Every parent does something right- whether it’s reading to the child, bringing the child to church, encouraging the child, disciplining consistently, or teaching independence. Find a strength in each parent you meet and then comment on it. Sometimes parents don’t recognize their strengths, and a word of acknowledgement from you might make a huge difference in their feelings of competence and confidence.

When my kids were young and demanding chunks of my time, I often arrived at church emotionally exhausted. One such Sunday a teacher looked at me and said, “Brenda, you always take time to talk and explain things to your daughter.” Her observation and comment affirmed my attempts to be a patient mom and has fueled me for many years.

Build rapport. Find a common bond with each parent. Perhaps you like similar sports, share a hobby, or find humor in the same things. Once you detect a commonality, you can build a relationship from there. The simple comment, “I noticed you’re a member of…” might be the beginning of an insightful conversation and the beginning of a parent connection. When a parent feels you have common ground, then you earn the right to discuss problems or ask him or her for help.

Communicate. Talk to parents about their child’s participation, behavior, conversation, or friends – and not in a negative way. Be encouraging and positive, and point out all the wonderful things their child is doing in your class. Parents love to hear what their child is learning. Your expressed interest gives parents a slice of their child’s life and makes them feel valued.

Once when I was teaching a class of rosy-cheeked cherubs, I asked, “What do you like about church?”

A bright little girl piped up, “I like the toys cookies, and you!”

What a fun thing to report when Mom and Dad came to pick her up. Small communication efforts will pay big dividends as you strengthen your connection with parents.

              Little Investigators

          Children’s Ministry Magazine

                 May/June 2008 

Preschoolers have a way of bombarding adults with questions. Children this age are naturally curious, and it’s important to let them explore and experience the what, why, and how questions about life and faith. Use these tips to help preschoolers make discoveries about their curiosities.

• Encourage – Don’t be quick to give preschoolers the answers to their questions. Instead, guide them to make their own discoveries. If children ask why God asked Noah to build a big boat, help them look for the answer in a children’s Bible, or ask them why they think God asked Noah to build the boat.
• Model – Demonstrate your own curiosity to preschoolers and then explore answers together. You can question just how big the giant was that David fought, and then together use a visual tool such as yarn to measure the giant’s height.
• Respond – Be honest if you don’t know the answer to a preschooler’s question and affirm their curious nature. When kids and adults explore their questions about life and faith in a safe and caring environment, faith grows.